Get Me Out of Detroit ~ 7MM Magnum (Plus: Prust over Stewart)

Get me out of Detroit!
7MM Magnum
by, Jake Swiftarrow, Sports Slayer
11-27-09

Marion Hossa made his season debut for the Chicago Blackhawks on Wednesday night and scored 2 two goals against the San Jose Sharks. The Hawks signed the winger in the off season to a $62.8 million dollar, 600 year deal so he can play on a line that includes Noah (950 years old) and Methusaleh (969 years old). These ridiculous long term deals that back load the money reveal that sports is not exempt from boneheaded economics. One might think that these sports franchises are government run. Shhh don’t tell the Obama administration. They might nationalize the White Sox for S’s and G’s.

I am so over my Sarah Palin crush. I have moved on to a much more attractive, errrr, intelligent lady in former White House Press Secretary, Dana Perino. She can give me a briefing anytime.

Real Salt Lake defeated the LA Galaxy on penalty kicks to win the MLS Cup. The game was in hand when MLS MVP, Landon Donovan missed his turn at the spot leaving the door open for Real to take home the title. That is a tough pill for a player that many consider to be the best American soccer player ever. I am a big fan of Donavan and what he has done for the sport. He conducts himself like a gentleman off the field and a fierce competitor on the field. I hope there are many more victories for Donavan in his soccer future.

Obama pardoned a turkey and officially put it in the “Jobs Saved” column.

As a sports fan we get so used to focusing on wins and losses and all the statistics associated with our favorite sports. It’s easy to forget the human element and sometimes we want to forget it when all the news stories seem to focus on the negative actions of our athletes and role models. We need more of these: Shaq Pays for N.C. Girl’s Funeral. NBA star, Shaquille O’Neal was touched by a story of a five year old girl who was murdered and whose mother was arrested on human trafficking charges. Shaq covered the costs of the funeral. In this incredibly sad story that no doubt touched many people, here is an example of a person who can give, giving. Shaq is not alone in his charitable and thoughtful contributions in the world of sports and I hope at some point, we will begin highlighting the big hearts that some athletes have to go along with their big talent.

Listen to The Gaslight Anthem. Thank me later.

So people are up in arms over a socialite couple crashing a White House Party and posting pictures on Facebook. I’m torn on this one. I find it both hilarious and frightening. If I’m Obama, I’m furious. But I’m not, and the first thing that comes to mind is that these people have eggs for trying this. In some ways I’m proud of them. It’s kind of like when my buddies and I used to pay for one Shakey’s buffet and get food for five us on one plate. Then, the owner would get angry and chase us around the salad bar. Good times! As a tax payer, I’m glad some of my money paid for the regular folks to have a bit of fun instead of funding global warming junk science. I’m sure the wine and dinner menu were outstanding. An attorney for the couple states simply, “They love a good party.” Perfect! However, I feel bad for the Secret Service who I’m sure is undergoing a thorough arse chewing. Some of them may be adding to unemployment numbers this week.

So we had our traditional dose of the NFL on Thanksgiving with 3 pro games. However, the only game that mattered was the college game between traditional rivals, Texas and Texas A & M. This was by far the best game of the day with Texas trying to hold on to their number 3 ranking for a shot at the National Championship. The Longhorns defeated the Aggies 49 – 39 in the highest scoring Lone Star Showdown game on record. This was a fabulously entertaining game of back and forth offense and special teams play. I’ll take the college game over the pro game anytime.

As far as the NFL tradition of having the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys each play home games on Thanksgiving goes, I am not a fan. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself mostly a traditionalist when it comes to sports with the exceptions of the Designated Hitter and Wild Card teams making the playoffs which I do like, but here is why I don’t want to see the Lions and Cowboys anymore on Thanksgiving. It has nothing to do with the fact that the Lions are horrible and have been since the Clinton administration (Sorry Sean G). It has more to do with unfair preparation afforded the Lions and Cowboys who are used to preparing on short rest for this game and then getting 10 days off to ready themselves for their next opponent. I also like what the NHL is doing with their new tradition of playing one outdoor game a year on New Year’s Day and alternating venues and teams. This is an exciting new tradition and I hope to see my LA Kings play in that game one day. I would not be as interested if every outdoor game was played in Buffalo with the Sabres hosting.

• Craft Beer of the Week = Racer 5 IPA by Bear Republic

Prust over Stewart

The Stimulus is Working ~ 7MM Magnum (Plus: Thornton over Erskine)

The Stimulus is Working

7MM Magnum

by, Jake Swiftarrow, Sports Slayer

11-20-09

Unemployment in California is now over 12% (realistically closer to 20%). “The Stimulus is working.” I’m going to do my part and purchase a lawnmower to create 50 new jobs. I learned you can do that from the White House’s web site. Don’t bother to thank me. I’m just a citizen doing my part. I’ll even buy a John Deere instead of a Honda.

Free agency begins today in Major League Baseball. This is the best time of year to be a Yankee fan. It’s like Ivanka Trump in the mall with daddy’s credit card. Although it’s a thin crop of players, Matt Holliday, Jason Bay and John Lackey will help some ball clubs. The question is, “at what price?” Unless, of course, you’re a Yankee fan, then you never ask yourself that question. “The Stimulus is working.”

The new Health Care bill is over 2000 pages long. Raise your hand if you think your government representatives will actually read it. They admittedly didn’t read the Stimulus bill because they weren’t given enough time. Most had aides skim through it. And it really didn’t matter because they crossed stuff out and wrote in new material in the margins. Give them some napkins and crayons to write on next time. This is government at its finest. The Goth Girl down the street would have trouble finishing a 2000 page Twilight book and digesting it, let alone understand it well enough to legislate in every American home. Of course, under the proposed bill, all Americans refusing to purchase health care will be considered criminals. I guess this will benefit the prison industry. “The Stimulus is working.”

On the college football recruiting front: So, it's easy to see why Storm Johnson (Loganville HS, GA) chose the Hurricanes, but equally puzzling why Mack Brown (Martin Luther King HS, GA) did not choose Texas. Although, the Horns did land top prospect, Chris Jones ("Rodney" Daingerfield HS, TX). Baylor was excited to get a verbal from "You can come down outta that tree anytime now" Ahmad Dixon (Midway HS, TX). There is still a bidding war over "I shot the" Shariff Floyd (George Washington HS, PA). Georgia got Nickell Robey from Frostproof HS, FL, where it never snows.

The Republic of Ireland is still in shock after losing to France 2-1 on aggregate allowing Les Bleus to qualify for the World Cup instead of the Irish. The winning goal came as a result of a double handball by France’s Thierry Henry and was not called by referee, Martin Hansson. Even the French, to their credit, are not proud of the way they were allowed to qualify under such circumstances. Henry said, "Naturally I feel embarrassed at the way that we won and feel extremely sorry for the Irish who definitely deserve to be in South Africa. Of course the fairest solution would be to replay the game but it is not in my control.'' The Irish have asked for the game to be replayed but FIFA has denied the request. The Irish were the better side for most of the game, but the luck of the Irish was not to be found this day. I’ll be sure to slam down an Irish Car Bomb in a show of solidarity this evening lads. I’ll make sure at the pub, at least for tonight that “The Stimulus is working.”

LeBron a Little Hazy on History? ~ 7MM Magnum (Plus: Rypien over Stortini)

LeBron a Little Hazy on History?
7MM Magnum
by, Jake Swiftarrow, Sports Slayer
11-13-09

LeBron James is going to switch from number 23 to number 6 next season to honor Michael Jordan. James said, "He can't get the logo [Hall of Famer Jerry West's silhouette adorns the NBA's logo], and if he can't, something has to be done. I feel like no NBA player should wear 23. I'm starting a petition, and I've got to get everyone in the NBA to sign it. Now, if I'm not going to wear No. 23, then nobody else should be able to wear it." While I admit that Jordan was an amazing player who carried the NBA banner after Majic and Bird, I find it ironic that James wants to retire 23 and switch to 6. Number 6 was worn by Bill Russell of the Boston Celtics who won eleven world championships including 2 as a player/coach (Bill Russell’s bio http://www.nba.com/history/players/russell_bio.html). I think the if the NBA is going to retire the number, league-wide, of a great African-American player, it should be the number 6 of Bill Russell that James wants to switch to!

Only 29% of the news stories about Major Hasan mention that he is a Muslim. Are you freaken kidding me? It’s not important? It doesn’t help explain this act of terrorism, errrrr, man-caused disaster? I’ll tell you what is a man-caused disaster, the Obama administration. This little tidbit of information is not a piece of this nightmarish puzzle? So, in the interest of political correctness should we shake down the 65 year old Morman lady at the airport as to not offend the 30 year old Muslim male in line behind her? Put out an APB on common sense. It has gone missing. It is so sad that so many more Americans will have to die before we deal with problems head on and call them as they are. Charles Krauthammer put it best on Special Report this week when said, “Political correctness is not only a moral aberration, it’s dangerous.” By the way, for my money, Krauthammer is the smartest guy in the room.

Cincinnati Bengal wide receiver, Chad Ochocino, was fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly bribing an official with a $1 bill during last Sunday’s game. I, personally, would have fined him $20K for his teeth or for changing his last name from Johnson to Ochocinco, but whatever. The NFL (No Fun League) has to take a stand against this guy’s antics at some point. He may be a distraction, but at least he’s not part of the 400+ football players who were arrested last season for various crimes, and more importantly in the eyes of the NFL, he’s not Rush Limbaugh. Now that is a crime.

Obama and Attorney General, Eric Holder, have decided to try the 911 conspirators in Federal Court in New York City. If this goes bad, if one of these guys walks on a technicality, this will end the Obama administration and be his long lasting legacy. If there is one terrorist that Obama “creates or saves” from the hammer of justice that is coming to them, he will not be able to show his face in middle America or anywhere else where common sense still has a foothold.

The officiating in the SEC this year has been awful. The LSU interception during the Alabama game was reviewed using television replay and even though the defender got both (only one is required) feet in, they ruled no interception on the play. Conspiracy theories are in on the SEC wanting Alabama and Florida in the SEC title game. I’m not much for conspiracy theories, but that was an embarrassing call. They should let those good ol’ boys dip during the game to keep their focus laser sharp. I’m thinking Texas and Florida for the National Championship. Bama is good and I love the RB Ingram, but their QB threw his first TD in 8 games last Saturday. That’s not going to get it done. Hook em!

Rosie O’ Donnell… never-mind… nobody cares.

(Rypien over Stortini)

Capitalism Hurts ~ 7 MM Magnum (Plus: Ivanans over Bissonnette)

Capitalism Hurts

7 MM Magnum
by, Jake Swiftarrow, Sports Slayer
11-05-09

I hate the Yankees! I love Capitalism. Therein lays the quandary. I love that Yankees can outspend every other team in Major League Baseball in dramatic fashion because they have the means to do it, but it also disgusts me. Full disclosure: Angel fan here. Nevertheless, as Larry Kudlow would proudly declare, “free market capitalism is the best road to prosperity.” Besides, rooting against a team is as much fan as rooting for a team. I love it when the Yankees lose. Go underdog! Unless, of course, the underdog is playing my beloved Angels who have the 6th highest payroll in the league. Too bad for the other 20+ teams that don’t spend as much as the Angels! Sell more hot dogs. Again, capitalism carries the day. Congrats to the roid taking, Dom drinking, Madonna humping Yankees and their rude, obnoxious, subway riding, homeless cursing, thin pizza making, go @#$% yourself fans on their 27 World Championship. See you next year fat cats.

Gay Marriage lost a crucial vote in Maine yesterday. Wow! The Moose, who outnumber the people in Maine, must have turned out for the vote. I thought this was a no brainer victory for same sexers. I guess people are worried how many doors must open under the pretense of “We love each other. Give us the same rights.” People, and moose, might be afraid that if you green light certain forms of marriage because of “love and equality” that many alternative forms of marriage must then become acceptable. Can you say a human and a moose?

David Beckham is going back to Real Madrid on loan from the Los Angeles Galaxy. Does anybody care? Give me football not a freak show. Give me football players, not hipster prima donnas. And if you read Victoria Beckham’s diet book, you sir or ma’am, are the reason the psychiatry business is so lucrative.

Barbara Boxer and the Dems passed a Global Warming, errrr Climate Change bill without any Republicans present. Those dam Republicans wanted a cost-benefit analysis to gauge costs to taxpayers. Those fiscally conservative punks should just drop their brains and step away from the legislative table before anyone gains knowledge. Look for skyrocketing energy costs and business closures. Another day in office for the Dems, another day closer to disaster for common folk. I heard it told the other day that if the Republicans are the party of the rich, then isn’t it in their best interest to keep their constituents rich? If that’s true, then if the Democrats are the party of the poor, isn’t it in the Democrat leadership’s best interest to keep their constituents poor? Take that home and chew it.

Tennis Legend Andre Aggasi Used Crystal Meth... (Plus: Peters over Neil )

7 MM Magnum
10-28-2009
by, Jake Swiftarrow - Sports Slayer

Tennis legend, Andre Aggasi, recently revealed in his autobiography, “Open,” that he used crystal meth. Uh, he had to. He plays tennis and his name is not Maria or Anna and he doesn’t wear skirts. How else was he supposed to sell books about his life?

Raise your hand if you miss John Hughes’ movies!

Did Phillies pitcher, Cliff Lee, just go into Yankee Stadium, correction “New Yankee Stadium” where henceforth all records should not be counted as “Yankee Stadium” records, and carve up the Bombers? Dude is filthy and not in the same ways that A Rod is filthy.

Favre in Green Bay this weekend! Or is he? Yes he is! Oh wait, no. Yes! No. Yes! No. Alright, I’m mildly intrigued and the Best Buy commercial he did about people who waffle over decisions was classic. I’m rooting the brats and beer!

My LA Kings are off to a great start, sorry bout it! Duck fans can chew it. Despite shaky goaltending the team has used off season acquisitions, Ryan Smyth and Rob Scuderi to bolster a young nucleus that includes burgeoning stars, Anze Kopitar and Drew Doughty, Captain Dustin Brown and former Stanley Cup champ Justin Williams. Doughty is only 19 and playing in LA. Can you imagine the female attention this guy gets at the Mall since he’s not old enough to saunter through the Manhattan beach haunts with his mates?

Sorry bout it, but Palin is hot. I’m nowhere near over her yet so deal with it.

So I attended the Georgia Bulldogs vs. South Carolina Gamecocks game in Athens, GA. last month. As a college football fanatic, I am embarrassed that I was not aware of the Georgia tradition of having the female attendees wear formal dress to the game. While I was amused at the South Carolina fans with their “Buck Hunting and Gamecock Football, Welcome to My Life” shirts, I was completely blown away at the beautiful Georgia women in their black, red and white dresses. This is by far, one of the greatest college football traditions. That is, if it is indeed a tradition. Maybe I was just a bit too ham-boned.

Peters over Neil

(NEW FEATURE @ RELIGIO POLITICAL TALK)

I have a close friend, Jake Swiftarrow, who can bring something to Religio-Political Talk that I lack... that is: sports commentary, sports-commentary with "attitude," sports-commentary with political commentary if he deems necessary -- and/or, just plain political commentary as well. You will come to find out that he is a Kings fan unfortunately, but I am always up for charity work (as I am a RedWings fan).

In other words, I am opening up my blog -- FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER -- to an outside person. You will be able to ask him questions and tell him where to go if you disagree with his perspective (as soon as he gets an email specifically for this blog that is). He loves most sports and is well versed in them, yes, even "football," what I commonly refer to as soccer. If there are sports tips or breaking news items, you may send them or shoot the shite with him at this promised email. Until then, enjoy Jake, he is an all around great (and intelligently humorous) person. Keep in mind we will be working out a format for him here, so bear with us. Tags and labels will be added as we continue on this path... look out for them (bottom of the left-hand column).

• I have said it before, and will say it again -- for the newer audience: this is not an explicitly Christian blog. While I hold to and vehemently defend a particular worldview -- I do not intend this site to be "rosy cheeked"/"pure as the driven snow" depot for faith. This site is meant for men and women who are confident enough in themselves, their faith, and their culture to know that the "holier-than-thou" lifestyle is best adhered to by those other than ourselves. So expect language and raw thoughts at times, in a respectful manner.
  

Papa Giorgio