Friday, November 27, 2009

Get Me Out of Detroit ~ 7MM Magnum (Plus: Prust over Stewart)

Get me out of Detroit!
7MM Magnum
by, Jake Swiftarrow, Sports Slayer

Marion Hossa made his season debut for the Chicago Blackhawks on Wednesday night and scored 2 two goals against the San Jose Sharks. The Hawks signed the winger in the off season to a $62.8 million dollar, 600 year deal so he can play on a line that includes Noah (950 years old) and Methusaleh (969 years old). These ridiculous long term deals that back load the money reveal that sports is not exempt from boneheaded economics. One might think that these sports franchises are government run. Shhh don’t tell the Obama administration. They might nationalize the White Sox for S’s and G’s.

I am so over my Sarah Palin crush. I have moved on to a much more attractive, errrr, intelligent lady in former White House Press Secretary, Dana Perino. She can give me a briefing anytime.

Real Salt Lake defeated the LA Galaxy on penalty kicks to win the MLS Cup. The game was in hand when MLS MVP, Landon Donovan missed his turn at the spot leaving the door open for Real to take home the title. That is a tough pill for a player that many consider to be the best American soccer player ever. I am a big fan of Donavan and what he has done for the sport. He conducts himself like a gentleman off the field and a fierce competitor on the field. I hope there are many more victories for Donavan in his soccer future.

Obama pardoned a turkey and officially put it in the “Jobs Saved” column.

As a sports fan we get so used to focusing on wins and losses and all the statistics associated with our favorite sports. It’s easy to forget the human element and sometimes we want to forget it when all the news stories seem to focus on the negative actions of our athletes and role models. We need more of these: Shaq Pays for N.C. Girl’s Funeral. NBA star, Shaquille O’Neal was touched by a story of a five year old girl who was murdered and whose mother was arrested on human trafficking charges. Shaq covered the costs of the funeral. In this incredibly sad story that no doubt touched many people, here is an example of a person who can give, giving. Shaq is not alone in his charitable and thoughtful contributions in the world of sports and I hope at some point, we will begin highlighting the big hearts that some athletes have to go along with their big talent.

Listen to The Gaslight Anthem. Thank me later.

So people are up in arms over a socialite couple crashing a White House Party and posting pictures on Facebook. I’m torn on this one. I find it both hilarious and frightening. If I’m Obama, I’m furious. But I’m not, and the first thing that comes to mind is that these people have eggs for trying this. In some ways I’m proud of them. It’s kind of like when my buddies and I used to pay for one Shakey’s buffet and get food for five us on one plate. Then, the owner would get angry and chase us around the salad bar. Good times! As a tax payer, I’m glad some of my money paid for the regular folks to have a bit of fun instead of funding global warming junk science. I’m sure the wine and dinner menu were outstanding. An attorney for the couple states simply, “They love a good party.” Perfect! However, I feel bad for the Secret Service who I’m sure is undergoing a thorough arse chewing. Some of them may be adding to unemployment numbers this week.

So we had our traditional dose of the NFL on Thanksgiving with 3 pro games. However, the only game that mattered was the college game between traditional rivals, Texas and Texas A & M. This was by far the best game of the day with Texas trying to hold on to their number 3 ranking for a shot at the National Championship. The Longhorns defeated the Aggies 49 – 39 in the highest scoring Lone Star Showdown game on record. This was a fabulously entertaining game of back and forth offense and special teams play. I’ll take the college game over the pro game anytime.

As far as the NFL tradition of having the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys each play home games on Thanksgiving goes, I am not a fan. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself mostly a traditionalist when it comes to sports with the exceptions of the Designated Hitter and Wild Card teams making the playoffs which I do like, but here is why I don’t want to see the Lions and Cowboys anymore on Thanksgiving. It has nothing to do with the fact that the Lions are horrible and have been since the Clinton administration (Sorry Sean G). It has more to do with unfair preparation afforded the Lions and Cowboys who are used to preparing on short rest for this game and then getting 10 days off to ready themselves for their next opponent. I also like what the NHL is doing with their new tradition of playing one outdoor game a year on New Year’s Day and alternating venues and teams. This is an exciting new tradition and I hope to see my LA Kings play in that game one day. I would not be as interested if every outdoor game was played in Buffalo with the Sabres hosting.

Prust over Stewart