Thursday, November 05, 2009

Capitalism Hurts ~ 7 MM Magnum (Plus: Ivanans over Bissonnette)

Capitalism Hurts
7 MM Magnum
by, Jake Swiftarrow, Sports Slayer


I hate the Yankees! I love Capitalism. Therein lays the quandary. I love that Yankees can outspend every other team in Major League Baseball in dramatic fashion because they have the means to do it, but it also disgusts me. Full disclosure: Angel fan here. Nevertheless, as Larry Kudlow would proudly declare, “free market capitalism is the best road to prosperity.” Besides, rooting against a team is as much fan as rooting for a team. I love it when the Yankees lose. Go underdog! Unless, of course, the underdog is playing my beloved Angels who have the 6th highest payroll in the league. Too bad for the other 20+ teams that don’t spend as much as the Angels! Sell more hot dogs. Again, capitalism carries the day. Congrats to the roid taking, Dom drinking, Madonna humping Yankees and their rude, obnoxious, subway riding, homeless cursing, thin pizza making, go @#$% yourself fans on their 27 World Championship. See you next year fat cats.

Gay Marriage lost a crucial vote in Maine yesterday. Wow! The Moose, who outnumber the people in Maine, must have turned out for the vote. I thought this was a no brainer victory for same sexers. I guess people are worried how many doors must open under the pretense of “We love each other. Give us the same rights.” People, and moose, might be afraid that if you green light certain forms of marriage because of “love and equality” that many alternative forms of marriage must then become acceptable. Can you say a human and a moose?

David Beckham is going back to Real Madrid on loan from the Los Angeles Galaxy. Does anybody care? Give me football not a freak show. Give me football players, not hipster prima donnas. And if you read Victoria Beckham’s diet book, you sir or ma’am, are the reason the psychiatry business is so lucrative.

Barbara Boxer and the Dems passed a Global Warming, errrr Climate Change bill without any Republicans present. Those dam Republicans wanted a cost-benefit analysis to gauge costs to taxpayers. Those fiscally conservative punks should just drop their brains and step away from the legislative table before anyone gains knowledge. Look for skyrocketing energy costs and business closures. Another day in office for the Dems, another day closer to disaster for common folk. I heard it told the other day that if the Republicans are the party of the rich, then isn’t it in their best interest to keep their constituents rich? If that’s true, then if the Democrats are the party of the poor, isn’t it in the Democrat leadership’s best interest to keep their constituents poor? Take that home and chew it.